Monday, 22 April 2013

Smells like Roller Derby #SkateWars

It is my pleasure to announce (and yes, possibly boast some) that The Magazine Club was offered the wonderful opportunity to cover C-Max's Roller Derby this passed Saturday. And who would pass up on the chance to photograph sexy girls' bums, especially when they hit the floor like it's hot. Thanks Sade and Michele - kisses!

It was a freezing evening in Johannesburg and I was coming down with a flu but I pulled on my big girl burgundy brogue boots with a matching oxblood coat and braved the wintery night. I was thankful that the venue was indoors, as I'm sure the derby girls were too. The venue was, for me anyway, in the middle of nowhere, at Wembley Indoor Stadium which if you glance around long enough at the bar you would notice how it was used for sporting events like karate and judo. Sincerely not as sexy as roller derby.

Doors opened at 6pm but me and @markstry had remarkable timing and arrived 10 minutes before the kick-off (would that be the correct terminology?) begun. The stands were packed with cheering fans; there were cheerleaders, motivational message boards, funny hats and loads of beer-filled plastic cups.

I chose the unfortunate seat in the front row which ordinarily would have been quite an awesome one - close to the action, nobody blocking the view. But due to this front seat being the front seat adjoined with the walkway and this walkway being the pathway to the bar I got to see a lot more of the audience than the rollerskating girls. Sigh. The highlight of this, until I gave up and moved away during halftime, was that I saw a Jake Gyllenhaal doppleganger. Only he was shorter and so hideously dressed that my heart never skipped a beat. Cara warned me that everyone in attendance would be in atrocious attire from her experience the previous year so Mr Doppleganger didn't disappoint my preconceived expectations. However, this made me all to warm and happy inside to see familiar faces that never disappoint in matters of style. Although @markstry couldn't take his lens off the girls long enough to get some evidence of this.

As much as I love summer and baring skin, I find that winter has a certain elegance that conspires with outerwear. I think it may be that we have to think harder about our ensembles, to ensure we have enough layers to keep us warm and nobody's afraid to splash out on a fabulous coat that keeps for the whole season. And the wonderful selection of boots, oh the boots. My friend Bryony LOVES boots, she has quite an extensive collection which she is rocking out these passed few cold days whilst the rest of us scramble to get some.

But now, let's get back to the scantily clad girls that were ripping up the track in a very vicious fashion. Wow. I get bruises walking into furniture, I can't imagine that even a slight tap from these chicks and I would go flying. The game was between the Starship Troopers and Mars Attacks. The Starship Troopers had more of a uniform uniform than that of the Mars Attacks ladies. Although that could be perception because they did try personalize with their stockings but it still seemed very uniform - which goes with the team name. Little grey tank tops and black skirts with black knee-high socks and black helmets. Black, black, black, very uniform.

Okay so I might be a little biased because Mars Attacks won me over with their cute peplum tops. But come on, they're embracing some fashion into their ensembles, of course that'll win my affections! In addition to the peplum, they wore sparkly green hot pants and had pink brain helmets - ohmgee it just screams cute! Of course until you see ass, ass, ass, ass... Which still had me thinking cute!

Pamela Mann sponsored some of the girls their hosiery choice for the event and there were some attractive pairs both on the track and for sale at the pop up stand at the event. I thought it was quite a smart move, although at R200 a pair it was a lil' too rich for my taste. Even if they are thick and cozy, I know stockings ladder even if you say these will less likely so. They obviously don't take into consideration Friday nights.

So whilst I was admiring all the fashionable details to the derby, @markstry was documenting the neck to neck game of said derby. It was fascinating to see what a huge following this sport has, the crowds never stopped cheering even those that had not a single understanding of how the game worked. And then during half time there were performances from this interesting act called Gay Thing. Really interesting, foxy red head in a short kimono dancing across the track. The lighting display made me think of an ice-rink and it made me a little jelly; I always wanted to sing and perform on the ice rink. LOL, the dreams of being a rockstar I had when I was twelve.

It was a very engaging evening, especially after having forced my sorry self out of bed to drink the effervescent cocktail to fight the flu and really not feeling up for it, I had a most enjoyable and sober time.


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